For the first time i feel the tide is slowly turning and i might be able to come up for air. Barely enough to fill my lungs before going under again, being dragged away on the waves of this merciless current of grief and pain and loss that has completely enveloped me for the last 21 weeks. Almost six months now..... I cannot even begin to tell you what has been going on during this time, what i have felt, how i have suffered.
But after a while my art came to the rescue. Apart from screaming and crying it has been the only way to express some of what i felt, and perhaps it is also the sanest, most healing way to turn myself inside out. Because that is what i have to do to survive, one way or the other. If it were up to me i would always prefer the artist's way, but creativity cannot be forced into mercifully appearing just because i desperately need it, it comes and goes by it's own design, i have found.
But let my images speak for themselves, let them evoke some of the crushing agony that infuses my life these days.
These four images were created in january. More to follow.
it's just a dress rehearsal rag
they were blood sistahs
it's inner silence i fear most
the fickle hand of fate
Last december i finally bought my new professional Epson surecolor P800. Had to postpone the delivery until mid january, couldn't deal with it before then. Made my first prints (of image 1 and 3) on a 17" roll of Permajet Textured Fine Art Parchment and they look absolutely stunning!
